The Most Dangerous Place on Earth: Target

Yesterday, my roommate and I decided to go to Target. She needed a new bathing suite for her trip and I was just tagging along. Sixty dollars later, my tag along turned into a full fledged shopping spree.
We started out in the bathing suite section, I quickly moved on to clothes with a bit more material. Not quite ready to even think about bikinis. As I skimmed the clothing racks I hit the jackpot. The Peter Pilotto collection on sale for 70% off! Bingo! Grabbed one of everything and hit the fitting room. Tried everything on, in record time may I add, and luckily for my wallet I didn't love anything. After leaving the fitting room, walking through Target became an intense inner battle between purchase or put down.

Next, I find myself meandering towards the shoes. Oh, those are cute Ked-like sneaks. No, no you have a pair of converse you barely ever wear. Alrighty, moving on to accessories. I do need a new belt. My favorite belt is about to fall apart. A new belt is a smart purchase. Let's just look at the sunglasses. I just bought a new pair last week, but these are so cute with the pink! Put them down. What's over here? Ohhhh! Cute PJ shorts! I have been wanting some new PJ shorts. And these are only ten bucks. Another smart purchase. Go me!

I knew I would want to check out the book section. I just finished Divergent, I should get Insurgent. I was going to buy it on my Kindle, but let's just check it out. Ohh, they have so many copies! And it's on sale! Okay, I'll just hold it and decide when I get to the check out. Let's get to the check ou.... OMG! Movies for $5!!! I just ahve to look. It's a rainy day I could use a good movie! Awww, Joseph Gorden Levitt. I love him. Okay, let's get 50/50. It looks great.

Now to the registers. Walking, walking. Don't look around. Ohh, I see pastels in my peripheral! Okay, just a peak. CANDLES! My weakness. You just bought some. I mean, I can smell them. Maybe I won't like the smell. Ohh, they are only $5! Target has the best prices! This blue one.. UGH! Awful smelling. The white one.. Yum! I definitely need this! They have a Clean Linen scent. My favorite! I need it! Okay, two candles, $10, not bad. Okay, this time to the registers for real!

This line isn't too long. Yay! Ohh, I need gum. Ooooo, those M&Ms look good. No. Yes. No. No... Okay, my turn to check out..... $60! Geez the belt, PJ shorts, book, movie, and candles really added up. Grrr, Target. You got me again! But I still love you! I definitely need to come here more often!

#TBT: Sky Dancers

Do you remember the days of trudging down the sidewalk backpack in tow due to the exhaustion of learning the multiplications tables? I do with great fondness. I would somehow make it home, give my dotting mother a hug at the door, while she takes my backpack and ushers me into the kitchen for a snack. I would sit, half asleep, eating cookies and once I had my last bite, a second wind came over me and I was back to my old energetic self again. That is when the real fun began. I would run up to my room and grab all the toys I could fit into my little arms.
Toys in the 90s are so different from what I see my younger siblings playing with now. Half of the time, physical toys are not even involved. They are staring at the television playing video games. I was thinking back to some of my girly toys I had growing up and one in particular came to mind: the Sky Dancers. Do you remember those? Little fairy-like dolls on a stand and when you pulled the string they would fly up into the air, well, at least 50% of the time they did. The other 50% they barely took off and just pathetically plummeted to the ground.

My neighborhood girl friends would come over and we all had a Sky Dancer, of course. So we would count to 3 and all of our fairies would take flight at once. The beauty, the magic, the terror. Yes, terror. One wrong angle and these babies were flying at your face. Once the boys discovered what damage these angelic faced dancing dolls could do, no one was safe. My brother and his gang of hooligans would steal them when we weren't paying attention and use them against us. Our own dolls turned into monsters. That would end rather abruptly when one of our parents caught sight of 4 girls running around the backyard frantically covering our heads for protection. I guess it is no surprise when researching these toys that they eventually became banned. This is why we can't have nice things. Even the most innocent looking toy can be a weapon of destruction.

But banning the Sky Dancers hasn't stopped some other uncreative soul from making Flutterbye Flying Fairy Doll. Available at your nearest Toys R Us for the low, low price of $34.99. I give it a few months before these are also taken off the shelves for scratching one too many retinas. 

I mean, looks how sweet and fun these are.. until somebody looses an eye. Forget the Red Ryder BB gun, the Sky Dancers/Flutterbye Flying dolls are what we should really be concerned about! Maybe if a pair of safety goggles were included, we could all feel a little bit safer.

Lady Gaga Does It Again

Lady Gaga's new music video for G.U.Y. from her Artpop album is another tastefully confusing arrangement of clips.

We have the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills all wearing pink shift dresses and "playing" instruments.

Giggy even has a moment of spotlight. 

Andy Cohen also makes an appearance and references God or possibly Zeus. 

There is "dance" number that may rival the Kama Sutra. 

Jesus and Michael Jackson make an appearance, and so much more. If you have 7 to 11 minutes to spare, you can watch the crazy (read: normal) Lady Gaga video. But don't say I didn't prepare you for this odd ball. 

Dear Vogue

Dear Vogue,

What, what, what are you thinking?! (See hilarious video related to that line here)

People are outraged! Sarah Michelle Geller was upset! I mean, Vogue ticked off Buffy. That's pretty serious. Her tweet and many others were quite interesting. You can check out more about that here, as well as other upset tweeters who are thinking about ending their Vogue subscription.

Personally, I am not upset about this cover choice. A little confused, maybe. I thought Anna Wintour was not the biggest fan of Kim K. so I find it odd to have her as the cover start when she has so openly been opposed to her. I will most likely be purchasing this issue if only to read Anna's editor letter. 

What do you think about this cover star choice? Will you be purchasing this issue?

WTF Wednesdays: Dog Strollers

Hello! And welcome to the newest (and first) weekly series of Culture Shock. The Wednesday Edition of WTF. This series will touch on various topics that just make you say "WTF?!" The first topic will be something that has, and will always, elude me: Dog Stollers.

Dog Strollers. Oh, you have never heard of them? You already think they are obsurd? Why yes, yes they are. And they are real. Feast your eyes on the image below.

Walking around the Upper West Side, I cannot tell you how many times I have seen this very sight. I have even witnessed a double stroller fit for two dogs. Dogs have two more legs than us, they do not need to be in a stroller! Perhaps if the dog was injured, maybe it would be appropriate to cart it around in a stroller until the little guy was healed, but I have only seen healthy, four legged pups strapped into these strollers. What is going on? Dogs are man's best friend, not an American Girl Doll to dress up and push around! I just can't. 

And if the strollers were not enough, take a gander at this puppy purse.

Yep, that happened. 

See you next (WTF) Wednesday!

The Truth About Online Dating (From a Girl Who has Given Up Online Dating)

I have always learned things the hard way. Online dating was not an exception.

I would call myself an optimist. Meeting people in the city is difficult. This you have heard many times, I am sure. But it is true! So, being the optimist that I am, I signed up for OkCupid. While filling out my profile and trying to paint an accurate portrayal of myself using a combination of whit and charm,  I think I had a modern day Cinderella love story in my head. I swear I am not completely delusional.

After 3 days, based on the very strange messages I was receiving, I knew Prince Charming was going to be hard to find through the thick of the fog, but I trudged on. I chatted with a few possible bachelors and went on some dates. Some promising and others over before they began. I was starting to give up hope after quite a few dates that lead no where. Either I was interested and they were not or vice versa. It happens. Just because OkCupid said we had a 91% compatibility, does not mean it's meant to be. See, I can be realistic.

A few not-so-great dates later, I thought I had hit the jackpot. My date and I hit it off and things were looking up. We even made it to date numero dos! On our second date, we grabbed brunch in Astoria, walked along the water, and just when I thought the date was coming in an end, he asked if I'd like to come back to his place and watch a movie. Now, I know what you all are thinking, and I can honestly tell you it crossed my mind, but I pushed it aside because I was excited to spend more time together. Needless to say, he had other ideas. I will let you know now, he was unsuccessful. I was not ready for that nonsense.

On the subway home after the movie, I battled with myself as to whether getting me back it his apartment had been planned all along. I let my optimism cloud my vision and I convinced myself it was not. A few days later, as if the dating gods were looking out for me, I stumbled upon a very insightful article. (Thank you, Betches.) The article confirmed my fears and also gave me the wake up call I needed. Strongly Worded Letter to Guys Who Invite Me Over to 'Watch a Movie' was my reality check.

Okay, so now that I got that off my chest, you might be wondering what is the truth about online dating? Get to the point, lady! Okay, I am getting there.. Are you ready? Guys on OkCupid are not looking for a relationship. Even if they write under the 'Most private thing I am willing to admit section' that, "Unlike other guys on here, I am interested in a relationship," they are not. I may be behind the times and perhaps you have read or experienced this already (Like I said, I learn things the hard way), but OkCupid, and mostly likely other dating sites, are just hubs for guys to easily take their pick of women. From my experience and what I have heard of others, OkCupid is not going to help you find Prince Charming, just frogs. Lots of frogs.

Over the weekend, I deleted my OkCupid account. So, let the search continue... without using a Search Engine.

Image source.

#SuccessfulAppProblems: Flappy Bird

If you are someone who was looking for a new game because your Candy Crush has cobwebs and is so 2013, then you probably downloaded Flappy Bird. If you haven't, you missed out on angry rants and truly wanting to throw your phone at the brick wall in your apartment. Oh, that doesn't sound appealing? Well, I guess you are just great then, aren't you? I apologize, that was rude. The side effects of Flappy Bird are anger problems and thumb spasms.

Yesterday, the creator of the app removed Flappy Bird from the Apple and Android app stores. Why, you may ask? Well, according to Dong Nguyen, the app was ruining his simple life.

Is it just me or does this upset anyone else? I am not upset the app was been deleted. I would be alright if I never play that game again. I am angry that Ngugen is whining about his success. So many people have tried to create something that would be received the way Flappy Bird has been and Nguyen beat the odds, but now he can't handle the pressure? How terrible it must be to have all this pressure of a successful application that is loved (hated) by thousands and brings in about $50,000 in ad revenue per day! (Techcrunch.com)

This situation rivals the First World Problems hash tag that was become widely popular. I think a new tag trend is in the works: #SuccessfulAppProblems.