I have always learned things the hard way. Online dating was not an exception.
I would call myself an optimist. Meeting people in the city is difficult. This you have heard many times, I am sure. But it is true! So, being the optimist that I am, I signed up for OkCupid. While filling out my profile and trying to paint an accurate portrayal of myself using a combination of whit and charm, I think I had a modern day Cinderella love story in my head. I swear I am not completely delusional.
After 3 days, based on the very strange messages I was receiving, I knew Prince Charming was going to be hard to find through the thick of the fog, but I trudged on. I chatted with a few possible bachelors and went on some dates. Some promising and others over before they began. I was starting to give up hope after quite a few dates that lead no where. Either I was interested and they were not or vice versa. It happens. Just because OkCupid said we had a 91% compatibility, does not mean it's meant to be. See, I can be realistic.
A few not-so-great dates later, I thought I had hit the jackpot. My date and I hit it off and things were looking up. We even made it to date numero dos! On our second date, we grabbed brunch in Astoria, walked along the water, and just when I thought the date was coming in an end, he asked if I'd like to come back to his place and watch a movie. Now, I know what you all are thinking, and I can honestly tell you it crossed my mind, but I pushed it aside because I was excited to spend more time together. Needless to say, he had other ideas. I will let you know now, he was unsuccessful. I was not ready for that nonsense.
On the subway home after the movie, I battled with myself as to whether getting me back it his apartment had been planned all along. I let my optimism cloud my vision and I convinced myself it was not. A few days later, as if the dating gods were looking out for me, I stumbled upon a very insightful article. (Thank you,
Betches.) The article confirmed my fears and also gave me the wake up call I needed.
Strongly Worded Letter to Guys Who Invite Me Over to 'Watch a Movie' was my reality check.
Okay, so now that I got that off my chest, you might be wondering what
is the truth about online dating? Get to the point, lady! Okay, I am getting there.. Are you ready?
Guys on OkCupid are not looking for a relationship. Even if they write under the 'Most private thing I am willing to admit section' that, "Unlike other guys on here, I am interested in a relationship," they are not. I may be behind the times and perhaps you have read or experienced this already (Like I said, I learn things the hard way), but OkCupid, and mostly likely other dating sites, are just hubs for guys to easily take their pick of women. From my experience and what I have heard of others, OkCupid is not going to help you find Prince Charming, just frogs. Lots of frogs.
Over the weekend, I deleted my OkCupid account. So, let the search continue... without using a Search Engine.
Image
source.
